Three Important Steps This next step takes courage. Don't give up just yet. Read the advice below. It may help to give you the strength you need.

Step One: Recognise and understand that it IS happening to you!

Domestic Violence is something that happens to other people, not to you, right? WRONG! The problem is that you may have lived with it for so long that you no longer recognise it for what it is. Any physical, mental, sexual or emotional abuse is domestic violence. The worst is carried out against women by men; they are stronger and more prone to using physical force. However, there are many men who suffer appalling abuse too. and we must not forget them.

Step Two: Accept and believe that you are NOT to blame!

No one has the right to abuse another and no one ever deserves to be abused. If you are assaulted it is not your fault. Many people seem to accept that the violence must be a punishment that they deserved. "It was my fault he got angry, I was late home. He was worried. I know he loves me" "It's not his fault. I know he has a quick temper. I should have been more careful" "It was a one-off. I'm sure he won't do it again. Such reasoning is way off target. Remember: No one has the right to abuse another and no one ever deserves to be abused.

Step Three: Get help without delay!

The decision to seek help with domestic violence can be very hard. Some People often believe that the abuse won't happen again. Sadly, it usually does. Many have lived with it for so long that they are too frightened to leave, for fear of reprisals. Many  mothers are frightened that if they leave with the children, they will not be able to look after them properly. They also fear for the the childrens' safety if they leave them behind. "Where can I go?" - "I can't just dump myself on my family" - I don't want to involve my friends" Sometimes these are all excuses; a way of avoiding making that big decision. If things are bad and you have the courage, then just run. Seek help from a trusted friend or the police. However, provided that you can bide your time, it is much better to plan your "escape" beforehand.  You need to consider such details as accommodation, employment, schooling and finance. If you cannot do this on your own, then check out our contact numbers on the next page. Just remember, Once you have broken free - once you have found the support you need - you need never live in fear again!

Support groups and their telephone numbers